On today’s installment of time continuing to be a flat circle, it seems that streaming giant Netflix has taken throwback Thursday to a whole new level, boldly following in Blockbuster’s footsteps by continuing to delude themselves into thinking they’re cable TV in the 1970s.


Earlier this week, the platform made headlines for all the wrong reasons after announcing their new crackdown on password sharing — a decision *definitely not* based on their realization that no sustainable business is solely based upon Millie Bobby Brown’s ability to pass as a 14-year-old.



Requiring users to log in to the platform using their home network once each month among another series of hoops to watch Wednesday, Stranger Things and other, more indicative offerings like the Hype House (god, a rapture any day will do just fine), Netflix’s new policy has achieved what Republicans have only accomplished in their wet dreams — redefining family.




“People who do not live in your household will need to use their own account to watch Netflix,” they elaborated on their newly-launched FAQ section.



College students? Who cares! Long-distance couples? Sucks to suck! Blended families? They can blend this Di–enchantment, bitch.


Naturally, the internet didn’t take too kindly to this draconian policy — one that evidently refuses to spare innocent children battling cancer — taking to Twitter to detail their new need for regular trips to visit their parents.


Netflix: Forever proving the meaning of “you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”