If there ever is a nearly world-ending apocalypse, cranking it is probably going to be one of the last things on your mind. Clean water, sure. Food, of course. But beating off material? That’s going to be near the bottom of the list, only to be managed after you’ve actually got a place to live and plenty of ammo.
Still, that hasn’t stopped one Redditor from getting apocalypse-ready with a massive porn collection.
— good reddit (@GoodReddit) October 24, 2023
In a now-deleted post on r/DataHoarders, a Redditor claims that they have a lot of porn on deck in case of a zombie apocalypse.
Now, when I say “a lot of porn,” this isn’t just a disorganized folder of xHamster links. No, this man has nearly filled a 2.5-terabyte hard drive with, in his words, his “complete pornography collection.” At least it managed to store everything!
Least porn addicted redditor
— penguinath0me (@penguinath0me) October 25, 2023
Let’s do a little math here. Assuming that our fair Redditor has archived everything in 4K, and assuming that he’s just ripping these from web videos, we’re looking at about 640MB for every hour of content.
If he actually filled a 2.5 terabyte hard drive, he would be looking at around 3,906 hours of content. Giving him eight hours of sleep per night, and assuming that the man does nothing but yank his chain, that would mean he could spend 244 full days doing nothing but watching porn — though he’d likely die of dehydration long before he hits the end of his hard drive.
And folder created at 4 in the fucking morning, you know this shit is real. my man.
— Nira Cain-N'Degeocello (@alexhffman) October 25, 2023
If one is actually looking to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, they’d be better served preparing go-bags and canned food. Or at the very least, they could store their porn in a way that doesn’t require electricity. That’s right, baby — we’re going back to hiding porn in the woods!
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