When Jade’s client first whipped out his dick — which was, she says, the width of an arm — she didn’t turn him down. She’s an experienced sex worker and thought she’d give it a try. Plus, he was a nice guy and not an intimidating presence — apart, that is, from his massive cock.

She had sex with him a few times, but it got to be too much. “I kept being really sore afterward, and my vagina would sting for a few days every time I had sex,” she tells me. “The last time that happened I was just like, ‘I got to take time off.’”

Jade, a 30-year-old sex worker based in Canada, isn’t the only one turning down well-endowed clients either. “I’ve had cramps and not been able to walk properly afterwards — almost like going horseback riding,” says Alexandra, a West Coast-based sex worker who’s been in the industry for over a decade. “And I have had experiences where a dick has hit my cervix.”

A month ago, Jade posted on Reddit’s largest community of sex workers to vent: “I just turned down a regular client because he has a big thick dick.”

She went on to explain that she had turned down multiple big-schlonged clients in the last few months, and was worried about it impacting her bottom line. “I just got really sore last month and didn’t want to have a repeat,” she continued, saying that while she used to be fine with all sizes, now she hopes to draw in clients with smaller penises. “This is kind of just a rant, but I’m also curious if others have turned down big girthy dick clients?”

VENT: I just turned down a regular client because he has a big thick dick
byu/Sppaarrkklle inSexWorkers

Jade’s question was quickly met with an overwhelming consensus: Yes, this happens — a lot.

“I hate clients with big dicks because they hurt sooo much,” reads one comment. “I can’t do it. It literally hurts [...] it hurts just thinking about it,” agrees another sex worker. “I have and will turn a man down for being too big,” confirms a third.

Many others in the thread offer similar answers, often noting that a more mid-range sized penis (five to six inches, not too girthy) is highly preferable.

To Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland, this discussion isn’t surprising. “The average erect penis length in the U.S. is about five and a quarter inches, while average girth is around 4.7 inches,” she tells me. “And while a lot of people may not think that a few inches makes a huge difference, it truly does, especially because the average length of a vaginal canal is usually around two to five inches.”

The vaginal canal can stretch, lengthen and deepen when aroused, but there’s a limit. “When we think about that two to five inches versus looking at someone that has an eight-plus inch penis, that’s a lot of extra length that doesn’t really have much else of a place to go,” Finn continues.

Alexandra explains that, as a petite person who has never given birth, she understands the issue very well. When faced with a bigger dick, she tries to get creative (oral sex without deep throating, two-handed hand jobs or intercourse with her on top so she can control depth, angle and rhythm), but sometimes there’s no solution except to politely decline. “At some point, it’s just absolutely not possible,” she says. “It just starts hitting your organs.”

While there are size queens who love longer, girthier penises, Finn says they tend to be the minority outside of a porn set. “Just because the porn performer that you’re watching is moaning and throwing their head back and having a great time with that massive yard hose of a cock doesn’t mean that every woman that you ever meet is going to feel that same way,” she tells me.

Alexandra, for example, won’t have intercourse with anyone whose dick is eight inches or longer. Seven inches is possible, but only if there’s enough foreplay, she isn’t rushed and she’s been properly aroused.

As for those who have faced rejection for their over-abundance of dick? “They were very understanding,” says Jade. “If they weren't, I’d be like, ‘Too bad. I’m not risking getting injured.’”

Redditor JohnAMcdonald, a moderator for r/bigdickproblems and a well-endowed man himself (7.75 inches by 6.25 inches per his Reddit bio), says outright rejection is fairly uncommon, but it does happen. “What’s more common is that the men can’t have sex as long, as rough, as spontaneously or as frequently as they’d like.”

“I’ve been there before, and it’s an experience of pain and frustration,” reads one of many comments under an r/bigdickproblems post. “It hurts to have something entirely out of your hands wreck an otherwise good thing, but the sting of this memory fades with time.”

Have you ever been rejected for being too big?
by inbigdickproblems

Ultimately, Alexandra wishes men would stop caring so much about having a big dick. She mentions a recent client she had with penile fillers as an example: “I looked at it, and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, why did you do this?’ And he said, ‘Well, women want bigger.’”

They tried having sex, but to no avail. “I couldn’t get it in — we couldn’t do it. I said, ‘Well, this is what happens. You did this, and now look — there’s no possibility of anything happening here.’”