Have you ever encountered an animal that was such an ***hole you wished you could punch it? Don’t lie, I know there’s at least one. I’m sure you resisted giving in to your worst impulses, though, since we all know punching animals is wrong unless they punch you first, in which case it’s self-defense and that’s fine.


Unfortunately, one British school teacher let her intrusive thoughts win when she “chastised” a pony named Bruce Almighty in November 2021. Sarah Moulds was subsequently charged with animal cruelty, and the case is now before the courts in the U.K., resulting in the publication of a truly unhinged image of Moulds seemingly punching the horse in the jaw.




Moulds argued that she had intended to “briefly shock” Bruce after he ran into the road and that her actions were proportionate given the circumstances. She told Lincoln Crown Court, “In that moment [Bruce] has done something incredibly dangerous and, in that exact moment, I decided that the right thing to do was discipline him quickly.”



Moulds has ridden horses all her life and had owned Bruce, who was 11 at the time of the incident, for two and a half years when she “disciplined” him. I’m no horse scientist, but surely there are better ways to train horses not to wander into the road than sucker-punching them? Have horse owners just been wailing on their horses this entire time and nobody’s caught it on camera until now?



An actual expert gave evidence for the prosecution, with equine veterinary surgeon Suzanne Green telling the court that Moulds’ actions were “not proportionate, not appropriate and not in response to anything.”


The trial is ongoing, and we can only hope for Moulds’ sake that Bruce Almighty the horse is far less powerful than his namesake, otherwise she’d be in for a righteous smiting.