‘They Need Their Own Hall of Fame’: People Are Stunned By the Stats Put Up By Uber’s Most Prolific Drivers

Braden Bjella Published 10/21/2023 in ftw

If you’ve ever tried to bring a drunk friend home from a bar, you’re probably familiar with just how much Uber drivers can go through. From riders vomiting in your car to customers who are just absolute ass-wipes, it’s understandable that Uber’s own CEO described his experience driving for the company as a “nightmare.”

While these issues are less severe for Uber Eats drivers, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. That’s why the people who complete the job successfully — the brave men and women who spend their hours driving McDonald’s to stoned teens across the nation — deserve to be celebrated, says Barstool’s Jack Mac.

@jackmacbarstool
Manjeet. Bobir. Avery. Michel. GET THESE MEN IN THE HALL OF FAME NOW.
♬ original sound - Jack Mac

“We spend all this time analyzing sports ball players,” Mac explains. “What about Manjeet? He’s had 6,800 deliveries in the past nine months. 6,800! One hundred percent satisfaction rate!” Doing a little back-of-the-napkin math, that’s about 23 deliveries per day. Respect.

Mac goes on to sing the praises of other drivers like Bobir, who has had over 10,000 deliveries with a 100 percent satisfaction rate, and Abdul, who has delivered over 21,000 meals since 2015 with a 98 percent satisfaction rate. “First ballot hall of fame,” Mac says of Abdul.

TikTok commenters shared Mac’s enthusiasm. “People debating between who’s better Manjeet and Bobir let’s just appreciate that we get to live in the same generation as them,” wrote one. “Uber should recognize these men!” exclaimed another.

Some spoke of them in the same terms as they would the greatest sports stars of our day. “Michel might be the current GOAT, but Manjeet is something to look out for. 6k deliveries with 100 percent satisfaction in under a year. If he keeps this pace, he will undoubtedly be the GOAT. No rookie has put these numbers up on perfect splits. Spectacular,” marveled one user. “Understand that Michel may have the numbers but Manjeet has the intangibles,” added a second.

No word on their coachability yet, so we’ll just have to wait and see. Personally, I’ve got money on Michel — there’s a fierceness behind those glasses that I’ll think we’ll really get to see in full force next season (i.e., the next time I’m in the mood for buffalo wings).