Despite his millions and the fact that he was once married to Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bündchen, it seems Tom Brady, at his core, is still an unemployed, divorced 40-something, taking to social media with a post only a newly unemployed, single 40-something could conjure — a 10 a.m., bet-losing thirst trap.


On Monday, February 6, Brady took a break from his busy schedule of not preparing for Sunday’s Super Bowl to prove that contrary to popular misconception, he is *not* a contender for a Real Housewives of Myrtle Beach and is like, really hot, you guys, sharing a steamy selfie in just his underwear after losing a bet … with his own company.



In a move that may singlehandedly encompass the phrase “down horrendous,” newly solo Brady made good on a promise he made with — let’s be real, himself — last summer, sharing a photo of himself in his boxers after his brand tweeted him a 9 a.m. reminder Monday morning that he needed to show bulge on main (after all, who isn’t thinking about Tom Brady’s dick at 9 am on a Monday?).



“Did I do it right?” Brady coy-ly captioned the snap of himself shirtless on his bed before tagging his brand and fellow footballers Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman, a post that is *definitely* not beating the “football is homoerotic” allegations (it is, and it’s great).


Garnering more than 14 million Twitter views in its first hours on the platform, it seems Brady learned a very important lesson about posting fake “demure” thirst trape on main — everyone who isn’t a 30-year-old MLM saleswoman from bumfuck Idaho can and will roast you.


Yet beyond garnering comparisons to Black Mirror villains, Black Mirror-adjacent villains, and bread so terrible they should be Black Mirror villains, one element stood out amid the social media brouhaha — Brady needs to get some.



“The fact that Tom Brady used his own brand to send him a tweet of something from over a year ago so that he could use it to post a thirst trap on main... this man is down BAD,” wrote one user.



Yet even as Brady is evidently reeling after swapping one mediocre NFL season for his smart, witchy Victoria’s Secret model wife, it still could be worse — he could be Rita Ora.