People like these make you wonder how they actually survive in this world of ours!


A K-Mart check out clerk rang up $46.64. I gave her a 50 bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant & informed me she was educated & knew what she was doing, & returned the money again. I gave her the money back-same scenario & departed the store with the $46.64.


I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She Handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

One day I was walking down the beach with some Friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!'. Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where'?

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'


My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

I couldn't find my airport luggage, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional & I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'


While working at a pizza parlor I heard a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6 He thought about it before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

At a southern fast food restaurant, I ordered a hamburger and French fries. The young lady taking orders informed that they had no hamburgers or French fries. I replied that the other customers were being served hamburgers and French fries. She looked at me quizzically and replied 'those are BURGERS AND FRIES!'

TheyWalk Among Us, they Reproduce, and Worst of all ...THEY VOTED.