20 Most Profound Thoughts...
Some people do the most productive thinking in the shower.
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1.
Instead of all the prequel and sequel movies coming out, they should start making “equels” - films shot in the same time period as the original film, but from an entirely different perspective. -
2.
Now that cellphones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again. -
3.
Last night my friend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid. -
4.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf. -
5.
The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was literally a grammar Nazi. -
6.
Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super rad if you don’t know what either of those things are. -
7.
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating. That way when you die, nobody has to know what you've been looking at. -
8.
I have never once hit the space bar while watching a YouTube video with the intention of scrolling halfway down the page -
9.
Senior citizen discounts should just round dollar amounts down so we don't have to wait in line behind them while they dig for change. -
10.
We should have a holiday called Space Day, where lights are to be shut off for at least an hour at night to reduce light pollution, so we can see the galaxy. -
11.
In the future, imagine how many Go-Pros will be found in snow mountains containing the last moments of people's lives. -
12.
"Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning" is the human version of "Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?" -
13.
When Sweden is playing Denmark, it is SWE-DEN. The remaining letters, not used, is DEN-MARK. -
14.
Maybe 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' isn't a show that displays how stupid grown adults can be, but rather, a show that depicts how much useless information we teach grade schoolers that won't be retained or applicable later in life. -
15.
I used hola unblocker to watch Argo on the Canadian Netflix. I was an American who had to pretend to be Canadian to watch a movie about Americans who have to pretend to be Canadians making a movie. -
16.
Websites should post their password requirements on their login pages so I can remember WTF I needed to do to my normal password to make it work on their site. -
17.
April Fools Day is the one day of the year that people critically evaluate news articles before accepting them as true. -
18.
X88B88 looks like the word "voodoo" reflecting off of itself -
19.
The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen. -
20.
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you.
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