Hope your retirement account is doing okay.

I don’t know much about the economy, but I know enough to say that things are, at present, “not great.” After President Trump announced tariffs on, well, everybody, global markets have reacted by collectively shitting their pants, with stock exchanges around the world reporting major losses.

If all this stresses you out, I get it. So why not take a load off and see a bunch of people who make more money in a year than you’ll ever see in your life shoot champagne at each other?

This is Cloud Nine in Aspen, a restaurant that’s the largest buyer of Veuve Clicquot in the U.S.. However, the restaurant isn’t really using it for drinking — rather, you can buy a bottle for $150 or more and use it to spray all over the other guests. One article says that the restaurant’s record is 140 bottles in a single lunch.

Aren’t you glad that these guys have money instead of you? I mean, what would *you* spend it on? Clothes? Rent? Psh.