Can’t you just play the slots like a normal person?

It’s a great time for gamblers. Well, it’s not the best time for gamblers if they had any hopes of winning, but if they’re into gambling simply for the love of losing money, this is their absolute heyday.

After 38 states legalized sports betting, gamblers spent around $120 billion in 2023 alone, with that number poised to go up in subsequent years. Who cares that legal online sports betting leads to lower credit scores, higher rates of bankruptcies and an increase in domestic violence — we’ve got a 0.00001 percent chance of striking it rich! Woo-hoo!

This love for betting isn’t unique to the United States. Over in China, anywhere from 2.5 to 4 percent of the adult population are addicted to gambling. However, as most gambling is illegal, those in search of a betting fix must resort to other forms of figuratively rolling the dice.

This new form of gambling is certainly causing some to scratch their heads. Here’s how it works: You buy a rock covered in tape and, if you’re lucky, that rock has a precious stone.

If you’re unlucky, well, have fun with your new rock.