You couldn’t even spring for the Family Dollar?

Publicly jerking off is, unfortunately, having a bit of a moment right now. There was the case of the guy who went to a bikini barista place with no pants on, killed himself and inspired a vigil in which he was honored as a “goonlord” (we live in the dumbest of all possible universes).

Now, there’s another public gooner on the loose, this time in the Miami area. His last spotting was at a Dollar Tree — be on the lookout!